For a while for me, it was hard to know if Volcano would ever erupt for me like it did at The Basement back in May 2013. I guess when something is surrounded in so much tension and emotion and potential for fail- any minor success makes it feel like you may as well have just scored the winning goal in the world cup. And I guess the 10th of May last year was my world cup final. But like me, the footballers go back to their normal lives and carry on earning lots of money and playing football ( yeah exactly like me) but after the world cup its like nothing ever matches quite up to that feeling again.
The Basement was not the world cup. It was maybe the coca-cola cup or whatever it is called now and we’re just playing in a slightly better league. Competing, struggling, highs and lows.
And there are lows. There are struggles for bookings and difficult team tactics and that kind of makes you forget that you ever won the minor trophy in the 5-aside team. You think back to the way that everyone cheered and laughed and cried and clapped now that they don’t do that so much in the bigger league.
Maybe this football analogy is wrong. Maybe I’m excited about football more than I am about theatre this week because I only have to watch Football and I don’t have to worry about coordinating the washing of sweaty socks or the snacks in the changing room.
When we arrived at Rose Bruford I felt this sudden sense of belonging that I hadn’t done in a while. A festival that reminded me of my days back in Dartington. And I sort of need reminding of those days when I’m not feeling so great.
The People at RB won. They were people who helped and wanted to help and cheered because they wanted to cheer and I suddenly became overwhelmed at all of the support from all of the talented students, the friendly staff, the wonderful Pip Nash (I’m her biggest fan). The Home crowd. Even though it wasn’t even my home.
I love meeting enthusiastic students that remind me of myself just a few years ago, they tell me its OK to think that its hard up here in the premiership (maybe more champions league). I love looking at them and telling them its going to be OK because it will. Its hard up here but can you do it and you can make it work. And it reminded me that I just love getting up there in that big pile of mud and performing.
And I went and sat outside in a courtyard which looked much like the one I had sat in as I student and I thought “Bloody hell Jojo, you’ve only gone and managed to do this for a living”.
I love my job. Sometimes I just need to be reminded.
I’m not making any sense. I must stop using football metaphors. I don’t even know anything about football.